By Dr. Ava Cadell
My mission is to train Relationship Coaches worldwide to empower adults with positive, accurate information so that everyone can make love a priority in their lives and experience healthy intimate relationships.
I believe the meaning of life is learning how to give and receive love, and Love Coaching is the key to making the world a more loving place, so here are some of my unique techniques that I teach in my Certified Relationship Coach program through my online university at LoveUniv.com.
For a Relationship Coach to build rapport with their clients, they must first familiarize themselves with Left and Right Brain communications. For example, if the client is predominantly right brained, they will talk about their feelings or awareness of issues and want to focus on holistic approaches to resolving their problems like, Guided Imagery which can help them to visualize their goals more clearly. Another successful technique is my Passion Wheel, a creative way to maintain passion by drawing a pie with twelve slices and filling in activities that they can do daily to maintain passion in their relationship. Even the simplest way to boost intimacy by listening to music with their partner can be a valuable tool for a right-brainer.
Whereas a client who is more left brained will be easier to work with if the Relationship Coach sticks to basic facts and logic with techniques that include the well-known NLP approach to communication. This client may be highly auditory and speak with words that include, listen, tell, speak, hear, debate or call and the most appealing techniques need to have some sequences, numbers or reasoning like my Satisfaction Scale, where they can identify how happy they are with their self-image, their relationship and sex life from one to ten. Most clients respond with an average of five or lower scale of satisfaction, so as Relationship Coach, you can ask them what it would take for them to reach a ten in each category.
Other successful Relationship Coaching techniques for their brain include Mindful Intimacy exercises such as hugging or eye-gazing because they release Oxytocin the “love chemical” and there is immediate gratification. And there is scientific evidence that kissing helps reduce blood pressure, zaps headaches, quells anxiety and releases feel good hormones like Dopamine, Norepinephrine, Testosterone and Oxytocin. This combination of chemical cocktails can increase a diminished sex drive, so my prescription for couples who want to get that loving feeling back is to kiss passionately, at least twice a day!
It’s always good for Relationship Coaches to back up their work with statistics, which is why many of my Relationship Coaching skills combine neuroscience with the science of love for powerful ways to help grow brain cells and relationships.
There are Relationship Coaching techniques that appeal to both right and left brained clients simply because they are so much fun, such as touching one side of a person’s body to stimulate the other side of their brain. In fact, the power of face-to-face, voice-to-voice or skin-to-skin exercises creates a bridge between two brains and can result in Mirror Neurons as the couple watch and copy each other to feel each other’s sensations, movements and emotions.
Some clients seek Relationship Coaching only when they are in crises and one of the most common reasons is when a personal boundary has been violated. But all too often they didn’t communicate what their boundaries were to their partner, so it’s important to help these clients empower themselves by identifying their physical, emotional and sexual boundaries. I have an exercise that I call the Boundary Box where I suggest clients write down all their boundaries on separate pieces of paper and fill the box with them. Then they read them to me and we discuss whether they are limitations or deal-breakers, so that they can communicate their boundaries to a partner the next time before they are violated. Having boundaries gives you self-value and respect and it can be a powerful form of communication between couples that can result in a deeper level of intimacy. But, the most powerful Relationship Coaching technique of all is helping people to “Forgive,” even if it’s just forgiving themselves, as it alters the brain’s wiring to build new neurons into physical and emotional health.
At the end of one’s life, most people will say one of three things: “I’m sorry,” “I forgive you,” or “I love you,” forgiveness is part of the meaning of life because without forgiveness there can be no love!
Take a look at our Certified Relationship Coach program NOW to see all of the courses available when you sign up to become a Certified Relationship Coach!